The Onsen Adventure Club
by skyler00
Summary: Lan and friends just have plain bad luck when it comes to hot springs...
1. Chapter 1

The Onsen Adventure Club

"This is an outrage," yelled Lan. "What kind of Onsen Club are we if we haven't even been able to enjoy one dip in the hot springs!"

With tears flowing out of her eyes, Mayl nodded, "It's as if the spirits of the onsen are angry with us."

Tory shook his head, "It's because you guys don't have enough knowledge about onsens that we aren't able to go! The spirits are angry of our ignorance!"

Chisao stood up and slapped his hands on the table, "Nobody cares about the history of onsens! We'll learn different and more important things about onsens if we experience its pleasures!"

Ms. Mari sniffled, "Stupid PuppyMan had to destroy that tower where I was enjoying my onsen."

Mayl nodded, "His name was Beastman, but what pisses me off the most is that we could've enjoyed the first hot spring trip we went to if it weren't for you two making us take some stupid initiation shit!"

Lan smiled smugly, "I had fun there. I don't know what you're talking about! Let's go there again! This time without the stupid initiation shit!"

Ms. Mari growled, "It's not stupid! But I suppose you guys deserve a dip in the best hot spring ever! Let's go!"

*** Tamako's Hot Springs***

Lan, Mayl, and Chisao dashed into their respective locker rooms. Chisao threw off all his clothes without bothering to organize it into his locker and ran into the area with the onsen. "It's about time! I can't wait!"

A shirtless Lan wrapped a towel around his waist before pulling his lower clothing off. Tory was changing next to him and sighed, "I suppose there are moments where I should stop being a nerd and just enjoy a dip."

Lan chucked, "Yea! Now you're getting it!"

The two walked into the hot spring area and proceeded to wash off. Lan turned on the showerhead to rinse off the shampoo and found that it turned off as soon as he washed it off. He opened his eyes and found a tall yakuza looking girl with long long extremely unnaturally long blue hair standing next to him. Lan stood up and shrieked, "Tamako-San!"

He looked down and covered himself, "Why are you here?"

"You honestly thought you could come here and not netbattle me?"

"Damnit, why do you always interrupt me when I'm getting to the good part!"

"I won't interrupt you anymore during your stay here if you beat me in a netbattle."

Tory yelled, "Can you get out of here! This is the boys' side!"

Tamako looked over at him and smirked, "It looks like you have a PET too. Let's netbattle! The three of us!"

"Get out of here or else I'm calling the manager!"

"I am the manager! And as manager, I say you can't enjoy these hot springs until you netbattle me!"

Ms. Mari and Mayl darted into the area with their bathrobes on. Ms. Mari yelled, "What's going on here!"

Mayl growled, "Hey! Why were you near Lan while he was showering? Are you some child molester?"

Lan blushed, "Why did you guys have to come over here to the guys' side?"

Ms. Mari pointed at Tamako, "I demand you leave right now!"

Tamako didn't hear her and widened her smile, "Hey girl, it looks like you have a net navi too. Let's netbattle!"

Tory stomped his foot on the ground, "Damnit fine! Let's just netbattle her and enjoy ourselves already!"

All of them plugged in their navis. Mayl and Lan used a water tower as soon as their navis were plugged in, wanting to finish this quickly. Metalman smirked, "Too slow."

Iceman froze the water towers and used a few more ice towers. Metalman raised an eyebrow, "Are they trying to freeze the entire area?"

Roll and Megaman shot the ice towers which broke down and fell towards Metalman. He laughed, "You're going to have to do better than that!"

He shot missiles to destroy the ice debris falling towards him.

While Metalman was occupied, Roll summoned a few ice cubes. Rockman shot bursts of air making them slide to Metalman at an incredible pace. Metalman saw them coming and punched the cubes with his fist. "You should know how powerful my fists are Megaman! You can't-"

Metalman was interrupted with a slash from an aqua blade. Holding his position with his fist out in front of him, he looked down and saw Iceman swinging an icesword at him. He took a step back and proceeded to punch Iceman, but an ice cube was shot to him, this time successfully hitting him. _Metalman logging out_.

Tamako stood there with her mouth gaped open for a while, "I can't believe it. You guys are better than I thought. I admit defeat this time, but after Metalman heals, I want a one on one netbattle with you Lan!"

Lan scoffed, "Fine. I'll have enjoyed my hot spring by that time so you're on!"

As Tamako and the girls proceeded to leave the men's side, Chisao screamed, "Lan! The water's not hot anymore! It's cold!"

Lan and Tory looked at each other and stomped the ground, "DAMNIT!"

Mayl fell on her knees. "WHY!"

Lan and Tory's towel fell. "FUCK!"

A bunny hopped and slipped into the onsen. "THE HORROR!"


	2. Chapter 2

Quitting the Club

"Idiots! Why would you use ice attacks," yelled Chisao.

Megaman sighed, "Well, we wanted to make Iceman feel useful. He won't survive in a hot fiery battle."

"Hey! Yes I can!"

Lan rubbed his fist on Chisao's head, "And we were more useful than you! Honestly, I don't know why we let you come around with us! You're not smart and don't have a netnavi. You're useless!"

Chisao pushed Lan's hand away, "What are you saying? You love having me around!"

Mayl scoffed, "What kind of fantasy have you concocted?"

Chisao sniffled, "Fine! I'm out of here! You guys will see that you miss me eventually! Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon! And when you come crying back to me, I'll make you guys wait for as long as I waited. And being merciful, I'll give you guys the honor of-"

Ms. Mari rubbed her temples, "Get out of here already fucktard."

Tory stood in front of Chisao, blocking him from the rest. "Now what are we going to do?"

Lan and Mayl yelled, "Another hot spring!"

Lan and Mayl dashed to another hot spring, Tory and Ms. Mari following suit. Breaking down the door to the male side, Lan walked in yelling, "It's about time I get to enjoy a hot spring!"

"Oh great, an annoying brat just walked in."

Lan's vein popped and looked at the person who said it, "Yea? Like you're any better! Mr. Match? What are you doing here?"

"I'm on vacation with the rest of World 3. Taking over the world is tiring work you know."

Lan growled, "Like hell you guys are ever going to succeed? I mean seriously? Why would you have a yoga person and a clown in your team? You guys haven't been a threat at all since your introduction! Especially after the darkloids, you guys all became useless as piles of-"

Tory interrupted, "Lan, calm down. Let's just enjoy the hot spring."

Lan grumbled as he walked to the hot spring and got out. "Yeowch! It's hot! Match! This is your doing isn't it?"

Count Zap ran into the area and yelled, "Oh hell no! I told you before we came here that you weren't allowed to do that!"

Match scoffed, "It was too cold for my tastes. You guys can enjoy a scorching spring now instead of a petty hot spring."

Mahajorama walked to the hot spring saying calmly, "Temperature is nothing when you have separated the mind and the body and elevated the mind to a seat higher than the average- holy motherfucking son of a shitty bitch! This is hot! Match, lower the damn temperature now!"

Mayl yelled from the other side. "Lan! The thermostat is broken and the water is hot!"

Maddy screamed, "Match! This is your doing huh?"

Lan screeched, "Damn you! Another hot spring trip is ruined!"

Lan left and dragged the club to a mansion. "There are too many trouble makers in public hot springs. Private hot springs should be better."

The group walked into a mansion and found themselves in a hot spring area enclosed by marble walls, a wooden roof with occasional openings to let the hot steam out, and a tile-covered ground with sprinkles of gems on them. Marble statues of magnificent creatures surrounded the hot spring.

Lan smiled with glee, "Nobody will interrupt us here!"

Mayl, after admiring the area, turned to Lan and said, "This is a nice place. Where are the changing-"

She blushed as she faced an underwear clad Lan pointing his butt at her. Lan looked at her and covered himself, "Shit! I forgot that this place didn't have separate areas for males or females!"

"Who dares enter the area of Sensei Master Swordsman?"

The gang looked around and found themselves face to face with an old hag with thick glasses, skinny wrinkly skin, and white bushy hair. "This must be a call for me to renew my swordsmanship."

She jumped off from the statue she was standing on and swung a sword. Lan took a step back, "Hey lady, that's danger-"

He stopped midsentence as he saw his bandana falling off his head. The gang screamed and ran away as the lady chased after them, cutting everything in her path: potteries, portraits, rugs, maids, etc.

Ms. Mari yelled while running, "Stop it miss! I will have to report you to the police for attempted homicide!"

Lan took out his PET and called a certain someone, "Chaud! Why is there a crazy old lady in your hot spring?"

Chaud glared at Lan, "What are you doing at my house? You must be talking about my grandmother. Yea, I'm afraid she's gone senile after finding out that I've resorted to cyber swordsmanship than physical swordsmanship. If you survive, come to SciLab. I have a mission for you. Try not to stain my house with your blood. Thanks."

Lan screamed, "Hey wait! Don't hang up on me!"

After running onto a train, Tory huffed heavily, "So that's why Chaud never invites us to his house. Here are your clothes, Lan."

The train took them to the airport where they flew to Creamland and went to another fancy hot spring. Lan sighed, "Alright, girls, go change behind a statue."

Mayl looked around cautiously, "You're sure Princess Pride will let us use her hot spring?"

"Of course, she and I are homies. We're as tight as a man's **** is to a woman's"

Lan was interrupted once more as a gunshot was heard. "Trespassers get out of her highness's personal hot spring."

Lan held up his arms, "Wait! I'm friends with Princess Pride! Just call her and let her know that Lan Hikari is here! She'll tell you that her casa es mi casa!"

One of them held up and phoned, "Your highness, a boy by the name of Lan Hikari claims that he is your friend. Should we allow him to stay in your castle?"

Laika answered, "Lan Hikari? Shoot him."

"Roger."

Princess Pride hugged Laika, "That was mean. Aren't you scared he'll die?"

Laika shook his head, "Lan needs to grow stronger, especially for the next mission he's going on. Plus these snipers will force him to go home where he'll be told to go to SciLab for his mission."

The club ran away once more clinging on to dear life. Miraculously, they were able to run into a forest and evade their mercenaries.

Mayl shivered from the cold snowy forest they ran into, "No more private hot springs. Please."

Tory and Ms. Mari lifted up their heads. "I smell a hot spring!"

Lan and Mayl looked at each other and followed the two hot spring fanatics. Soon enough, they found themselves in the presence of a natural hot spring. Lan and Mayl brightened up, "Awesome! This should be a great way to warm up!"

The two genders went behind trees to change and went back to the hot spring with just a towel on, ready to enjoy a dip, when they found themselves face to face with a group of bears. The gang screamed and were running for dear life away from the bears which were running away from an avalanche caused by the screams.

Lan flopped on his bed and growled, "Damnit! This day sucked! Why can't I enjoy one trip to the hot spring!"

Megaman shrugged, "You just have bad luck when it comes to onsens I guess."

Lan heaved himself off his bed, "I won't give up! I'm going to enjoy the feeling of a hot spring if it's the last thing I do!"

He went downstairs and pulled a huge pot outside. He placed firewood underneath it and lit them, heating the pot up. He poured water into the pot, took off his clothes, and got into the pot. "Ahh, this is the closest thing to a private hot spring I'll ever have."

"Hey Lan."

Lan squeaked as he saw Mayl peering over the fence. "Mayl! What are you doing?"

"Don't worry. I can't see anything important. I just wanted to thank you for trying your best to get us into a hot spring today. That's one of the things that's amazing with you, is your unwavering determination whenever you've set your mind to something."

"Woman, as much as I like having lovey dovey conversations with you, can we have it when I'm not naked in a pot with you looking at me?"

"Well, other people are looking at you too!"

Lan looked around and saw pedophiles from the houses around his area watching him. "Damnit! Can't I enjoy one moment in hot water!"

He heaved himself out of the pot only to make the pot fall over and break. He stomped into his house. He went into his bathtub and turned on the water. He lied down on his bathtub only to find that the water was cold. "Fuck! Mom! Did you use up all the hot water?"

"Yes I did honey, but it's so you won't spend too long in the shower! We need you to go to SciLab for an important mission! You're late!"

The brunette got up and yelled, "Enough! I'm going to enjoy a hot spring no matter what!"

He stomped over to Chaud's house and ripped off his clothes. As Chaud's grandma hag dashed to Lan with a sword. Lan grabbed her sword with his bare hands and punched her in the face, putting her into a coma. He gave a menacing smile and walked over to the hot spring. Tamako jumped in front of him, "If you want to enjoy a hot spring, you'll have to go through me-"

Lan stabbed her and threw her body aside. He sat in the hot spring and smiled, "It's about time. No more interference."

Suddenly, all the water evaporated, leaving Lan in a marble pit. "What the fuck happened?"

Chaud limped into the room, "Damnit Lan! Where were you? Because you didn't come to SciLab to get your mission, an evil organization was able to develop a vaporizer that got rid of all the water in the world!"

Lan fell to his knees, "Are you telling me it's my fault? It's my fault that all the water in the world disappeared?"

Chaud nodded, "Yea, that's what I'm saying. People will die from thirst because of you."

"And that I won't be able to enjoy a hot spring ever again? Son of a!"

Chaud: . . . . .

_Story End_

A/N: Not one of my best stories, but oh well. It's been on my head for a while mostly for the nudity which I took out. Hope you enjoyed at least some parts of it. If not, go to a hot spring and relax XD.


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